La douleur d'amour
by Swamp Fairy
Summary: A synonym for "love" could be "pain," as Parker is beginning to learn. A story told in a mix of poetry and pose. Hardison is shot; Parker doesn't know how to cope. P/H, but with love from the whole team plus Sterling.


_blood blood_ _blood_

she presses her fingertips

to his clammy chest,

feeling his heart beat against his

ribcage through the

hole in his shirt.

presses her palm to the

gaping wound,

blood under her nails,

running down her wrist

settling in the crook

of her arm-

_"Hardison!"_

* * *

He was limp, unresponsive, pale. She was shaking. "Come on!" Parker shouted, pressing down so hard that the blood spurting from his chest leaked between her fingers. "Hardison, you have to stay awake! Do you hear me? You're going to be fine, just, just... stay awake!" She couldn't breathe, couldn't see straight, couldn't so much as formulate a cohesive thought.

She rotated her head so sharply she thought she heard her neck crack. "Eliot, you have to help. What do we do?" But he was sitting back on his heels, staring at the two of them but not seeing them, eyes glassy and tears running down his own face. She wanted to shake him, shake him and make him pay attention but that would mean letting go of Hardison and she couldn't, wouldn't, not for anything. She turned her back to Eliot and raised her free hand to her hacker's face, caressing his cheek, his forehead. His blood was spilling down to the ground and staining the knees of her pants, she could feel it, she ignored it.

She bent her head till her face was right above hers and his eyes opened. He wasn't going to get a dramatic goodbye speech, however. His eyes fixed on hers for a moment, then he turned his head and coughed up blood on the ground. He tried to say something, but when she moved her ear to his mouth he was mumbling in computer code, hysterical. "Please," she murmured more quietly.

Distantly she recognized the loud whirring of sirens, and even though there was some part of her body that instinctively flinched away, wanting to run, she was rooted to the spot, attached to him. But Eliot was behind her now. "Parker, we have to go," he told her urgently. She didn't even respond to him because she was soaking in his blood and everything was too much. "That's the ambulance, he'll be okay, but we have to go _now_, we can't help him from in prison." But even though she heard him it was as if he was a million miles away and it would have taken too much effort to even respond. And then all of a sudden his arms were around her and he was pulling her away and she was shrieking, kicking, biting, anything for him to _let her go_, let her go back to him, because now he was alone there on the tile floor as his life dripped away. But Eliot was too strong and not letting her go and Hardison's head was limp against the floor and she couldn't see his chest rising and falling anymore.

* * *

Parker lay curled up on the couch. Her eyes were open but fixed on a point far in the distance. Sophie sat at the end of the couch, stroking her hair and talking softly. Her own eyes were slightly swollen, her eyeliner running thick and dark. No matter what the grifter said, the thief remained silent.

They took it in shifts: one of them in with Parker (because by unspoken agreement they knew that under no circumstances could she be left alone), one waiting by the phone, and the third changing clothes or picking up food or doing whatever else needed to be done. Sophie and Eliot would speak to Parker when they with her, trying to get her to talk back, but Nate simply sat beside her and occasionally hold her hand. He wasn't speaking much, either, but he was pale as a ghost and his hands shook uncontrollably.

Sophie paused in her low murmurings as the phone rang. Parker didn't react but the older woman sat up straight as Nate jumped for the phone. "Hello?" he said into it, then slumped. Sophie looked away. "No, I'm afraid we're going to be unable to take clients for some period of time. You can call back in a few days."

He hung up just as Eliot came through the door, hanging up his jacket. Like clockwork, they rotated. Nate kissed Sophie's cheek and took her place beside Parker, Eliot took a beer out of the refrigerator and sat beside the phone, Sophie slipped her shoes on and headed out the door without a word.

It was maybe an hour before the phone rang again. Nate, seemingly used to the disappointments, didn't react to the sound, but Eliot grabbed the phone and listened intently. "Yes. Yes, thank you. We'll be right there."

"Who was it?" Nate asked, his back straightening, but Eliot didn't answer him, coming around the couch and crouching down in front of Parker. He reached out to cradle her face in his hands.

"Parker, sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. Are you listening? He's alright. He's alive, in stable condition. We can go see him now."

She blinked, then leaped to her feet. Eliot could have sworn he had never seen Nate smile so wide.

* * *

They got to the hospital in record time and Sophie came racing up to them just as they reached the door. She was out of breath but beaming. There were black vans, police cars, the whole shebang in the parking lot, but no one hassled them. Just in case, Nate was wearing a low hat and Eliot had his coat collar flipped up, covering the lower half of his face. Sophie had actually found a wig somewhere and had slightly askew red hair as she came running to meet them.

Sterling was waiting at the door. "I'm sure you can understand this is a delicate situation for me," he muttered. "Alec Hardison, the world-famous hacker, injured and in custody. I can't very well let him go, can I? But I also don't want a war with Nathan Ford et al."

"So what are you going to do?" Nate asked coolly. The other three had formed a line behind him, arms crossed, staring Sterling down.

"I'm going to let you see him, and be grateful for that. I've told the nurses to let you do whatever you want, so long as it doesn't involve removing him from the room, of course. He's not even supposed to have visitors until he's transferred to a prison hospital." He studied them for a moment. "We'll see, after that. Fourth floor, room 126."

The elevator could not move quickly enough. Parker was unusually subdued, however, pressing her back against the wall and not looking any of the others in the face. She was the last one out of the elevator and was blinking a bit too quickly as they approached the door, fingernails digging into her palms. Only Sophie noticed, dropping back to put an arm around her. "It's okay," she told her, trying and failing at keeping her voice quiet. "It's okay now."

But then they were in the room and he was sitting up in the hospital bed, bandaged and pale and shaking but smiling at them and alive, _alive_.

Parker nearly collapsed in the chair beside his bed. She couldn't even speak, just drank him in with her eyes.

"Hey, babe," Hardison said, grinning broadly to see them all. "How are you doing?"

"She's doing better now that we know you're alright. We all are." Eliot strode over and gave his friend a half-hug, carefully avoiding the bandaging across his chest. "You had us all pretty scared."

Hardison opened his mouth but by then Sophie was crushing him, being much less careful of his injury. He winced but squeezed her back. "You idiot, don't you ever do that again," she said against his shoulder.

"We're all glad you're okay, and we're going to get you out of here," Nate said. His eyes were wet. "If you need anything, let us know and we'll get it to you. Sterling's making sure that we have access."

"Sterling's helping _us_?" Hardison asked, astonished. "Well, that's a change."

* * *

The nurse stuck her head into the room. She was glaring at them all disapprovingly over her bony nose. "It's closing time. The men with the badges are saying you all are allowed to stay if you want, but I'd advise you let him get his rest. The hospital visiting hours start at nine tomorrow morning."

Nate was the first up. "And we'll be back at nine," he told the hacker. Sophie gave him a final hug and joined Nate at the door.

Eliot took his hand, squeezed it tightly. "I'll have my phone with me all night, if you need anything."

"Your number is the first one on my speed dial," Hardison replied.

They looked to Parker, but she merely shook her head. Sophie walked back over and kissed her forehead. "See you both in the morning," she said in her lilting accent. "Goodnight."

"Night," Hardison replied, and the door swung shut behind them. Parker was studying the ceiling intently, controlling her breathing a little too carefully.

"Parker, sweetheart. Talk to me. What's the matter?" he demanded. She stood and walked to the window, slitted the blinds to peer out. The automatic lights dimmed down.

"I thought I was going to die," she said at last, her first words spoken in over a day. Her voice was slightly lower than usual, rough. "You got shot, but I could feel it, in my chest, and when Eliot pulled me away, I thought I was going to die."

"Parker-"

She turned to face him. Her eyes reflected what little light was in the room, her hair escaping from its ponytail and floating in thin strands around her head. "I didn't know it would hurt this much."

"What?" he asked.

A tear ran down her face, then another.

"Come here," he said, gesturing for her. She slowly made her way to him, lay down facing him on the stiff bed. He raised the hand connected to his good side and smoothed his fingertips over her cheekbone, her jaw, her shoulder. "You're beautiful," he told her quietly, an oft-repeated phrase that never failed to get a smile from her.

She closed her eyes and lifted her hand up, wrapping her fingers with his. He bent his face down to her hair, kissed the top of her head. He knew she couldn't say it, so he would say it enough for the both of them.

_"I love you, I love you, I love you."_

* * *

**Originally I wanted to kill him off. But I couldn't. Not after the finale- too much sadness in the Leverage Universe already. Guys, please like the "Leverage: Let's Go Steal a Season 6" fanpage. They give info on other channels we can contact to see if they'd pick up the show. Also, please review! Love to all. Happy holidays.**


End file.
